Not quite as happy as I thought I would be

So we had our ultrasound yesterday and let's just say it did not go the way I hoped it would. After I almost passed out (can't stay on my back too long) and after examining baby's blood flow, the nurse pretty much ran out of the room to get the actual perinatologist. He finished the exam with me holding myself propped on my elbows for the most time because I had no intentions of blacking out. And then he said the words that no one wants to hear: There was a finding on your baby. Apparently, our baby has a two vessel cord while a normal baby has three. The meaning of the diagnosis is following: It's a high marker for trisomy 18 (though our NT testing showed our risk on trisomy 18 to be at 1:24,000), about 20% of the babies with it will have serious issues and 50% of these will not make it to birth while majority of the survivors will not make it past day 15. The other 80% will be born healthy or with "minor" disabilities.

The good news on the other side is that our baby boy (!!!!!) looks perfectly healthy and that is definitely a good sign that he could be in the 80% category. The perinatologist would not go as far as saying he recommends amnio, but he said it is offered in these situations. So we believe he thinks our chances are pretty good. We wouldn't abort (it would probably kill me) and while it could lift a cloud, it could also make our life much harder. No amnio for us. We are having an echocardiogram in two weeks and if that comes back clear, we are all going to be much happier :) In the mean time we do what we did before - believe.