Tuesday, July 15, 2008

First Steps

The weekend before last my husband eventualy decided to call his dad. Sure, millions of us call our dads every week and there is nothing too special about it, but my husband has not seen his dad since he was a kid and has not talked to him for the last eight years. My mother in law has gotten divorced with the sole custody of the children when they were around 4 years old and that is pretty much where the contact to the father ended. We do not know whether it was his or her wishes, but as a result the family has been divided ever since with only isolated contacts here and there, usually years apart.

My husband was always very angry with his father to have disappeared out of his life and refused to talk to him. Over the years of our relationship, I have tried to get him to call, email, or otherwise contact his dad. I have even saved his address from a card we got for our wedding. But could never get him there. So I was somewhat surprised to hear Mike say that he feels like calling his dad. And then he really called. They talked for more than two hours and we have gotten a thank-you card from Herbert himself as well as his wife Wanda.

This past weekend Mike talked to Wanda for a good 30 minutes and yesterday with his father for at least another hour. They exchanged hptt's of their respective online pictures so that each can see where the other one lives (we live on the opposite coasts). They have talked about families and my husband discovered he has at least one living aunt and possibly quite a few cousins. All in all it is looking good. Just hoping the trend keeps. Life is too short not to take the opportunity to meet the person who happens to be your father.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Quick Medical Update

New test results just came in and indicate that I have a ureaplasma infection, which has been known (or not) to lead to miscarriages. I have a strong feeling that this is what it is given that my pregnancy tests were darker when I was on a combination of herbs/vits that are known to help fight the infection, though I was taking them for a cold/flu. It just all makes sense. It took this long to diagnose because the infection is asymptomatic and estimated 50% of the population have it. For most people, it just sits there, but certain strains attach to certain parts in certain people and then cause problems. For example, if it sits in the uterus, there will be miscarriages. But because it is harmless for most people, they don't necessarily test for it or connect it to miscarriages or infertility (that's if the infection sits in the cervix).

We have also fixed our health insurance problems and I am good to go. I will have a fun HSG (hysterosalphinogram - yummy!), blood draw (for STDs - yes, my doctor requires it before they treat me) and a consult with my hematologist to see which of the fertility drugs I can use and under what circumstances. I will have an appointment with dr. Khan (the guy who is responsible for us to get pregnant and whose title is reproductive endocrinologist) a week after that to set up the plan for the following cycle. Which should really be IUI (keep the eggies in, take the best sperm and shoot it as close to the eggies as possible) with clomid (to make the eggies grow) and a trigger (to make the eggie leave the comfy pouch in my ovary). So basically it is like having a controlled and somewhat uncomfortable sex. Minus the good parts of course.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Slow dancining Anyone?

I remember being fourteen and listening to techno. I also remember my dad complaining about the music and predicting that it will be gone in ten years. Ten (well, more like fourteen, actually) years later techno is still here and just about as popular as it always was, but the one thing I have not heard for a while is a really good slow song. Growing up, there was always Brian Adams' "Please, forgive me," Haddaway's "Miss You", Aerosmith's "Always" or "Crazy," and a ton more. And recently it seems that the only slow song is Rihanna's "Take a Bow." And yes, there is a lot of slow-er songs in the rock, independence, or R&B categories, but no real slow song. And with no slow song, there is no slow dancing either.

Slow dancing pretty much shaped my teenage years. Essentially, my whole life at that point revolved around who I was going (or more often not going) to slow dance with at the weekly parties. There were dreams about being asked to slow dance with a particular love of mine. There was real slow dancing with other guys that evolved (or not) into something else. And yet it has been years since I have heard a good slow song in a club and it has been years since I slow danced last. I have not even slow danced with my husband. True, that might be a blessing since he has no sense of rhytm and he refuses to simply follow, but nevertheless. Maybe I am just not listening to the right radio stations and going to the right clubs. But I remember that when I was young the slow songs regularly made the top 20. Is it that the people are different? Is it that the tastes have changed so much in those few years? Have the romantic girls died out? And is the current generation missing out on something important? The truth be told it almost makes me happy to be as old as I am. I am glad I did not miss out on it.