Infertility

Following a discussion at a party, I really want to post this. Infertility is a pretty common problem. 1 in 10 couples will experience it. It's a long and frustrating journey to say the least and does not always end with a happy end. Most people will not share this journey because they feel inadequate and generally just blame themselves. I am not really sure what they are ashamed of, obviously it's not something I can relate to. I get mostly pissed. Therefore, if you don't know a couple that had to wait years to conceive, there is a good possibility that a couple of your 30-something friends who seemingy don't want kids and enjoy their kids free style are having monthly breakdowns and spend fortune on both ovulation and pregnancy test. Maybe they have seen a doctor extensively and even undergone surgeries that you don't know about. And when they eventually conceive they don't advertise how long it took to get there, whether they miscarried on the way, or whether this is an IUI/IVF baby. They would all tell you that they were not ready for this. They were not told that making a baby can involve needles. On the contrary, they were told that having that one unprotected sex will for SURE end as an unwanted pregnancy.

There is no infertility class in the high school nor should there be. But people should talk about it. A girl that decides that she wants to wait till 35 for her first baby should have all the information including the fact that although she is perfectly healthy and all her relatives are having kids every year like clockwork, she might not be able to conceive at all and she might have to wait until 40, 45 to get a baby (which she might have to adopt, but that's a different story). No one will tell her that if there indeed is a problem, it will take forever to get diagnosed, forever to be treated and at 37, 38 (which is where we are realistically at this point) her chances on conceiving even with IVF are pretty low. People should talk about how frequent miscarriages really are (yup, some 30%, although the numbers range from 15-75% depending on source. But given a typical pregnancy with a typical miscarriage, we are looking at about the 30% - 3 out of 10 pregnant women will go through this).

Facing a miscarriage or infertility can be daunting. But if people knew it's out there, it would not come as such a shock. I was informed ahead of time. I knew it could happen. And I consider myself one of the better adjusted people at this. So talk about. Don't brush it off. Do yourself a favor and seriously consider it. Even if you had a pregnancy before and got pregnant really easily, there is still a chance that the next one will take 5 years. Hopefully it's just one of the things out there you will never have to experience yourself. But if you do you will be happy you did this mental exercise.